Small Changes Big Impact

So the holidays have come and gone. We traveled for both Thanksgiving and Christmas which provided for both a hectic and fun time. It is always great to spend more time with family, friends, and most of all my hubby. I have been told I am not the best travel companion, I complain, I get cranky, I have insurmountable expectations, etc. Although this is just one more area that I am working on I must say that I usually enjoy the travel with Jon. It really allows us to have some good conversations and basically forces quality time. Of course, sometimes I just want to read a good book too!

During one of these good conversations I found out something that really made me pause. My husband commented that my early morning coffee time with him has made our marriage 10 times more enjoyable. (He actually said "ten fold" but I prefer the New Living Translation over the KJV ;-) Not only that but he also feels our relationship is stronger because of it.

I honestly couldn't believe it. How could something so minor have such a big impact? He went on to say that he values that time not only because it is a good start to the day but also because it is just one more thing that we can do together. As I thought about what he said, I realized that I feel the same way. I certainly feel like our relationship has gotten better but also easier. Conversations are simpler,"discussions" that happen when we disagree are more rational, and I think we value each other more. I have also found that I truly enjoy doing things for Jon. Making him a cup of coffee in the morning or a nice dinner at night is actually a pleasure for me instead of a chore. I know now how much he appreciates it, and that makes it all the better for me. He too realizes all the things that I do to make his life more enjoyable and therefore is more willing to help me with something or surprise me with a nice gesture. The domino effect of my sacrifice in the mornings is astounding to me.

Promises Promises

So apparently the next thing I should be working on is keeping good on my word!! A five week interlude is not really acceptable when I am supposed to be utilizing this as a tool of accountability. Unfortunately, I did not have access to wireless service in many of the places we stayed on our European trip and therefore I did not keep up to date there and then after that life simply got in the way. All I can say is I will certainly try to do better.

On a more positive note, I am really feeling a mental change in myself and I think its reflecting in my life. I am simply feeling so much more motivated in my goals right now. I feel empowered to take on my fitness goals, am making a valiant effort at growing my business, and feeling very motivated in the state of my home. I will admit, I hired a cleaning lady to come in once a week. Yesterday was her second time and obviously the house is much cleaner. However, knowing that she is coming is really keeping my on task and forcing me to keep up with the laundry and general home maintenance. Unfortunately, this house tends to collect dirt, dust, and debris thanks in large part to living in the boonies of New Jersey and having large dogs tramp in and out all day long. In general though I find that we are maintaining a clean household on a daily basis and now I find I can focus more on work during my daytime hours.
Youth group has really forced me to stretch myself out of my comfort zone. We are going through a study on the basics of living a Christian life and its allowing me to reexamine what that means to me and how I am doing day to day in my walk with the Lord. Also, I feel a great sense of responsibility toward the kids because I have voluntarily placed myself as a role model, knowing that mistakes I make in my own life will reflect onto them. We had an absolutely fantastic event a couple weeks ago that was fairly well attended but enjoyed by everyone involved. The heart of these kids is so genuine its a nice change.

As the World Turns...

As you can see I have not posted for quite awhile. As sometimes happens out in the boonies, our Internet was down for a few weeks. Luckily, we worked the bugs out and things are back and operational but I am actually not on the farm right now. I am sitting in a shopping mall in England drinking a very good latte and utilizing the free wireless in this coffee shop to get back on track. So, what has happened in the past few weeks? Well, quite a lot actually.
I am starting to realize that my new sleep schedule is finally starting to stick. I seem to wake up right before the alarm most days, and usually a few minuets before Jon when he comes back from working out. It is not to say that I couldn't continue sleeping if I chose to do that, just that my body is now on the side of P31 in allowing me the choice of getting out of bed or not. Also, many days I have wanted to get up, drink coffee, wait for Jon to leave, and then go back to bed. However, in practice I am always too awake and simply continue on with my day. Consequently, I have gotten so much more done and have been able to keep the main parts of the house at least clutter free if not semi-clean most of the time. If you do not know me well, then this may seem like a pretty easy feat but believe me, this is mostly the first time I can say this in my 27 years! I know, a pretty sad thing to have to admit. I would definitely say that in general I feel more productive or feel like being more productive each day which leads me to believe that my laziness was predicated in part to sleeping late. Also something I never thought in my life I would admit to.
So with all this new found time and energy I have been challenging myself to some new goals. I have begun working with our junior high youth group, which definitely requires increased energy, and joined our churches ladies bible study. It is an interesting dichotomy because I am actually taking the reigns in youth group to lead a study for the girls there on living a christian life and in contrast I am being led by another in the study. I think that this is very important though. I need to be constantly learning and growing in order to be effective as a youth sponsor, wife, friend, sister, daughter, and any other role I happen to be filling.
My first evening of junior high fun was certainly that. We played game after game that required intense stamina that I simply didn't possess and by the end of the night I felt like I could about drop. However, it was also exciting to see the kids who did come out enjoying youth group in a way that I did when I was younger. My church friends and youth group were everything to me at that age. I wanted to be at every event, study, ministry opportunity, pretty much anything that the youth group put on. It is invigorating but also sobering to know that I am now filling the role of many adults I once knew and will have a direct impact on the lives of these children. Their enthusiasm for life is infectious.
Bible study also started during the time of the Internet debacle. There seem to be about 8-10 women participating, many of whom I am not well acquainted. The book we are reading is called "Having a Mary Spirit" and is about the differences between Mary and Martha. The first chapter was a very emotional read for me because it highlighted exactly where I felt I have been at for the past year. Struggling with where I am at in life and feeling a necessary change. The uncertainty of where I am going forward is unnerving and it was very comforting to see that I am exactly where God wants to be. I know that I will be learning a great deal and growing through the study and accountability of these women.
Now, after all this you may be wondering why I am in England. I suppose that was a little rude to start off in such an out of character manner with no explanation at all. Well, I am traveling with my husband while he is on business for the next 2 weeks. We just arrived yesterday, and this morning I woke up and had a proper English breakfast with him before he left for the day. I have no plans to slack off while on holiday over here, P31 will be accompanying me on this trip!

A Weekend at the Shore

I have a confession to make, Friday I did not get up at 7 am for coffee. I was just tired and wanted to sleep. The look on my husbands face when I said I wasn't getting up made me feel awful, but in my sleepy state I rationalized that sleep was what I needed at that moment to be more useful throughout the day and evening ahead. Although my day did go on as usual once I woke up an hour later, that night a friend came down to the shore with us and had dinner. Over dinner, she was discussing this blog and Jon mentioned how I had not gotten up that morning and how it had "ruined his whole day!" Now, for the sake of cutting through the drama, I do not believe that my husband had an awful day on Friday, in fact, work seemed to go well, we went out fishing after work and then had a lovely dinner. However, the sentiment really hit home with me and reminded me of all the positive things I have outlined in the blog concerning my morning coffee. Of course, I had realized how much he enjoyed it and that it gave a positive spin on his whole day, I just didn't realize that it would give a negative start to the day when I am just too lazy to get up.
Another observation I made this weekend happened today on the treadmill. A song I have on my play list for running is "Your Love is My Drug" and in the context of the song, really doesn't apply to my life. However, I am happily coming to the knowledge that nothing gives me great joy, aside from God, than the love of my husband. I like making him happy and feel euphoric when he praises me. The love he gives me is definitely my drug. Although I never read the love languages book a few friends did in college and I am starting to realize that my said "language" probably revolves around words of affirmation and quality time. I am loving the time I have been able to spend with my husband and in turn find myself happier and more content. When I once wanted to be out every night "doing something" I now relish time spent at home eating dinner, sitting outside watching "our deer," and even catching the latest survival show on Discovery.
My final slice of knowledge came in a conversation I was able to have Sunday morning. Although I did not go to church I feel like I heard a message loud and clear that day. I had purchased some local peaches and wanted to make some peach butter to can. A little P31 I suppose, "providing food for my family." Anyway, as my friend and I cut up the peaches and set to make the butter we started talking about nature and how things are grown. I have come to really enjoy growing food in my own garden and marvel time and time again at how much can grow from so little. Our conversation easily morphed into the greatness of God and the intricacy of mankind and the natural world. To grow an entire bushel of tomatoes from one small seed and for a baby to be created and then grow in the womb is truly amazing. It would seem that science should only point people toward God instead of away from Him. That people all over the world in remote areas feel the existence of God simply because of what is around them shows mans arrogance and the true cost of sin. All in all it was a fantastic weekend.
My plan this week is to work on verse 26. "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." I have decided to start a Bible study for the girls in our youth group. I have chosen the book and will be meeting with the youth team at our church to decide on the best night and plan of action. I have also decided to join the ladies Bible study at church in order to gain "faithful instruction" and harbor more accountability.

A P31 sort of day

I feel very P31 so far today. I woke up this morning to the announcement of my husband that it was pouring rain outside. This was great news to me because one, I would not have to worry about watering the garden or landscaping outside which means that two, I could do both the laundry and run the dishwasher today :-), and finally just because I love rainy days and cooler weather! I realize that most people love jumping out of bed on a bright sunny day but I prefer mild and rainy to hot and sunny any day of the week. So while Jon fixed his hair, I made up some eggs and we were able to have a relaxing 15 minutes on the porch listening to the rain. After that, I worked out, dropped off some clothes to the Goodwill, dropped produce from the garden off to a friend, bought some fresh produce from a local organic farm, gassed up the car, got books from the library for the weekend ahead, and then purchased some scotchgard for the new sectional on the porch...all before noon!! After I got home I spent and hour in the garden pulling weeds that I really should have taken care of weeks if not months ago while listening to a great sermon on my ipod.
So, my day was very productive to this point but was also very enlightening. The sermon I listened to was from a church called Apex Community out of Dayton, Ohio. I went there during college and have recently begun downloading the sermons to listen to when I am working outside. This one happened to be out of the book of James and it was about planning. Which was funny because directly before I turned it on I had just outlined some ideas to my mom that I had for our farm. (Sometimes God just isn't so subtle, He can really just knock you over the head if you need it!) The plans discussed included possibly starting a CSA, taking a master gardeners course, doing some hands on gardening classes here at the farm, etc. Now the sermon focused on James 4:13-16.

13Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." 16As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

At first, I thought the message was pretty simplistic, don't plan what you will do just say "if it is God's will" this is what I will do. Pretty basic, but on a deeper level it really means that you plan your life based on and with great input from God. So all these ideas I am having or plans I am making need to be based on what God wants from my life. I may have a strong desire to go in one direction but is that where God wants me to be? I know that I need to be more cognisant of God's will and asking Him what I should be doing next. I felt pretty convicted about my prayer life and including God in my decision making on a daily basis. The other part of the passage that talks about boasting was interesting as well. I would normally say that I don't boast. I am not out there spouting all the great things I do in my life, how awesome I am, etc. However, in this context, the boasting is actually about making plans. Saying that you will be doing this or that in the future, as if you know what the future holds. Basically, the exact thing I was saying to my mother 1 hour earlier. It is pretty neat to see how God is continuing to work in my life and show me areas for improvement.

When Life Gets in The Way

I have had a pretty busy time the past week and a half. My husband left for an overseas trip, I visited a friend in Kentucky, and now my sister is here visiting. Unfortunately, I have not been as diligent about staying on task with P31. I find it difficult to wake up at 7 when no one else is home. I have still been getting up consistently "early" but certainly not like I was when Jon was home. I think it is partially a motivation issue and partially an accountability issue. Sure, when there is no one else counting on my waking up it is easier to sleep in, but I also really enjoy being awake in the mornings with Jon. It is simply much easier to convince myself that I should continue sleeping when I am only counting on myself. This is something I really need to address. I can see how things have begun to slide because of the extra hour or so that I am not getting up.
It has been horribly hot this past week and although I have wanted to accomplish a few things outside, I found that trying to do so in the heat was making me sick. If I would have gotten out there early, it would have been cooler and I could have gotten a least a little done each day. Also, because of the heat/lack of rain, I have been needing to water the garden and landscaped areas around the house. Unfortunately, I have found that with our older home, the water pressure seems to only be able to accommodate one zone at a time. So not only do I have to water each outdoor zone individually, I cannot do laundry or use the dishwasher when watering outside either. This stipulation has meant that I have really fallen behind on the laundry and probably could have been avoided had I been more motivated in the mornings.
Obviously, I have also enjoyed the time I have been able to spend with my friends and family. I have an amazing visit with my friend and her husband. Of course, I was mostly there to see their children, my little buddy Preston and her new little bundle Whitney. (Who is cute as a button let me tell you, although seems to be slightly crafty. She likes to be held and will sleep like well, a baby if you hold her but wakes up and cries if you put her down. Smart little girl, watch out u guys ;) I have also really been enjoying my time with my sister, Lindsey. We have been able to have a wonderful dinner in Philly and spent the better part of yesterday shopping in NYC. Living out here in NJ is great, but I do miss my family and love when I get time to spend with them. I will mention that, despite my strongest efforts to make her coffee/breakfast in the morning a la P31, she has turned me down! I even offered her a farm fresh omelet, with my chickens eggs and produce from the garden.

Getting things done...

So for the past week I have been thinking about how to proceed in this little endevor. I have been reading this passage everyday trying to familiarize myself with who this woman is. The first thing that jumps out to me is basically that girlfriend gets stuff done!! How she can manage her enterprise, make her own clothing/bed linens, care for her household, and still have time for the poor and needy is something I definately want to understand better. I certianly aspire to being multifaceted and able to juggle such a packed schedule. "Her children call her blessed and her husband praises her." Isn't that what everyone is striving for?! I think that I really allow myself to feel overwhelmed and I feed into the mindset that I am accomplishing much when really I am only reaching a portion of my potential productivity. Sure, modern life takes time. Sitting on hold with a company, traffic on the highway, commuting, etc. I experience these time wasters on a daily basis but really find myself leaning on them as a crutch to explain why certain things are not getting done. When in fact, I am simply allowing myself to be idle because I think I deserve it. When certain tasks are tough, physically or mentally, I mentally convince myself that I don't/can't accomplish another thing because I have exhausted my energy stores or I have already done enough that day. P31 certainly doesn't think that way. This woman wakes before dark and burns her lamp well into the evening.
Does this mean that I should spend all my waking hours working or cleaning the house? No, I don't think so. I think that this woman enjoys her time with her family. For me I think it means that I need to finish projects as they come and do things now instead of procrastinating. I will be putting this mindset into practice over the next week and report back...

Waking while it is still dark...

So, for the sake of full disclosure, I have actually been working at this little experiment for a couple months now. I was simply too lazy to begin the blog. Although I am starting my "year" based on my first blog post I wanted to include what I have been doing since May.

The first change I wanted to incorporate to my life was waking up earlier than I had previously. I am not what you would call a morning person. In fact I think I am an anti-morning person. I love to sleep and I HATE waking up. Growing up, my family drew straws to decide who would need to face the "wrath of Breezy" in the morning. Once in college, I actually threw my alarm clock across the room because I was simply mad that it was time to get up...yes I realize that maybe I should focus on some temper issues this year as well. So it would come as no surprise that because my career has not required me to wake up early, get ready, and drive to the office I have chosen to sleep in most mornings. My body seemed to like waking up around 9...9:30...10. However, this has been a point of contention between me and the hubs for a full 5 years. He likes to get up early to start his day and really doesn't understand the desire to sleep and "waste the day." In my defense, I felt like hours were still hours no matter what part of the day it was. So if I was doing my laundry at 9 pm then what is the difference?

Explanation aside, I have chosen to take the advice in Proverbs and wake up early, maybe not before the sun, at least not in the spring/summer season. So now I am getting up in the morning with my hubby. I am finding that more gets done during the day. I also feel more motivated when I realize that I have already accomplished so much before I would normally even wake up!! However, the other benefits that I have come to enjoy were completely unexpected. My relationship with my husband has really grown. I think one reason being he knows its a sacrifice for me to wake up but it is also a great way to start his day. He really looks forward to me waking up and on the days when I don't it's a letdown. Of course, that makes me feel wonderful knowing that it brightens his day when we spend a few minutes in the morning together. Often times, he has my coffee ready for me before I even get out of bed, so nice.

So what has this taught me? Well, I am still in the infancy stage of this project but I can see that the innocuous things that I felt would have no change on my overall productivity really have. I am getting more done, feeling more energetic, and my level of motivation is higher. My perspective is changing and now I just need to choose my next step. Stay tuned...

The Proverbs 31 Experiment

I would say I am a pretty good wife. Actually, I would probably say I am an excellent wife and my hubby should thank his lucky stars everyday that he scored such a catch :0 However, after 5 years of marriage I am realizing more and more that I seem to be utterly incapable of certain things. That, at the end of a day, my house is still a mess, my schedule seems jam packed, I got behind on any number of things, and more than likely I forgot something. I have continually attempted to make lists, put schedules in place, and create habits, all of which were intended to streamline my routine and make my overall life that much easier. One day a few months ago I realized that all I had been trying to accomplish I was doing on my own. I wasn't asking God to help me get the laundry done, I mean of course I wasn't, He wasn't exactly going to come down and help me fold now was He?! However, in Phillipians 4:13 it says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Now of course, I always attributed that to witnessing, ministering, maybe waking up early to get to a church service :-) Basically, churchy things. However, it doesn't take a word study to understand that "All Things" includes all things. So I thought maybe I would try God's way. Only, God really isn't going to fold my laundry, feed my chickens, take my dogs to the vet, and pack for vacation. So how was God going to help? My mind kept circling back to Proverbs 31, the passage that describes "a wife of noble character." Well, that is exactly what I want to be. So, I have decided to put myself to the test. For one year I am living a Proverbs 31 life. Somethings will be literal, like waking up early and some things will be more metaphorical, I don't plan on buying any new fields ;-) I'm not sure what God will be teaching me during this time but I am excited to find out.

Proverbs 31:10-31 (NIV)

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.